Hallelujah!

One of my best memories of high school choir is singing this music with a large crowd. Chills every time.

Best $500 I Ever Spent

I've been pondering whether or not to share this happy news because in some parenting and psychology circles this may be looked at as bad parenting or just bad living. Some may even call it betting or bribing which is not something I condone. I don't even do raffles at school functions or support the bingo for money fundraisers. But this girl accepted a bet/bribe from her parents. And on her 16th birthday we had to pay up.

When Hannah and Eliza were 11 and 12 we made a deal with them. If they made it to the age of 16 without kissing a boy - we would pay them $500. If they make it to 18 - they get another $500. Hannah has assured us this will be the only payout. Eliza declared that she will get the full $1000. Eliza asked us if there could be a payout at an even later date. We made it clear that kissing and boys are something we do want for her future. Just not now.

Our goal is that our children will highly value their kisses and more importantly their hearts. We could just teach them correct principles and let them govern themselves. But I have to say - that $500 has been a great conversation starter about relationships and standards. And we have talked A LOT about the types of boys to date. (That is another post - let's just say that when Steve starts in on this one - the girls roll their eyes and I smile to myself because I know it is embedded in their brain.) There is a very true reason our prophets have urged our children to not date before they are 16 and to not be in serious relationships until later. The world teaches our youth that intimacy is to be experienced at a young age - that it is part of growing up. I am grateful for prophets who guide our lives towards simplicity and happiness.

Thankful

In seminary this week, we have been making a list of our blessings. I have 35 people/things on my list right now and could add a hundred or more. But at the top of my list are my Father in Heaven, Jesus Christ and the Holy Ghost. They each have a significant role in helping me get where I want to go after this life. And the next 5 things on my list are:

THEM

and HIM!
I love my life because of them. I get crazy because of them. I laugh a lot, thanks to them. I have so much to be thankful for because of them. So, on Thursday as we celebrate Thanksgiving and go around the room and talk about our blessings this year - I will talk about them. And I will do my best to tell them and show them that I love them every day after that. Happy Thanksgiving!

I know this is True

Unexpected Fun

Our family was planning a great conference weekend. We were all hanging out with my parents who were coming up for one last visit before they start their new calling at the temple in Birmingham. We were going to hang out in our sweats all weekend and listen to the timely messages we needed to hear. Hannah had invited some friends over to watch movies Saturday night. But then our plans changed. Hannah was elected to homecoming court and our nice relaxing weekend got pretty busy and a little crazy.

These two lovelies are part of a large cheering team my girls are blessed with. They teach them at church and listen to their worries and encourage them to stay on the straight and narrow. They came to the stadium on Friday to see Hannah walk across the field. Jenny and Amanda's husbands are great too. Their sacrifice of time does not go unnoticed.

Steve was in New York on Friday. There were storms on Friday and the airport was flooded. We prayed and prayed. But Steve did not make it home in time to walk with Hannah across the field. He did make it home safely. For that we were grateful. I was happy to get this picture of them together before she went to the dance and he went to the Priesthood session of conference. He deserves all the credit for her dress. He is the one who took her shopping the Saturday before. Have I mentioned that he is a super-shopper and I am not? I also cannot say enough that Steve is a great Dad. Not only does he shop with his girls - but he really enjoys being around them. And it shows. Hearing them all laughing in the kitchen as they swap stories and jokes is one of my favorite sounds.

Grace and Grandma at the football game. We noted that since Brock has been on a mission, Grandma has not been to a football game. We stayed long enough to see Hannah and as long as the Birmingham blood would allow. Grandma brought with her our favorite sweets from Savage Bakery. She also spent all of her 28 hours in our home - making it better. She folded laundry, cleaned and talked and listened to Tanner, Grace, Eliza and Hannah. AND ME.

Dad and me with Hannah. I was so happy Dad was there - so I didn't have to walk across the field alone. It was nice to have someone to laugh with when we saw Hannah's heels sinking into the grass as she walked in front of us down the 50 yard line. She wobbled a bit but laughed her way through it. While Dad was not on official homecoming duty - he took each of the kids on a date to their favorite places. And put several puzzles together with Tanner. He was busy!

Thanks to this boy, David, Hannah didn't fall on the field. They have been friends for a few years and was kind to be her escort.

It wasn't the weekend that we had expected. But it was fun to see Hannah honored this way.

Indian Run

A couple of weeks ago, Steve, Eliza, Grace and I "ran" the Indian Run in Hocking Hills. We arrived there around 9 am to check in. When I told the lady at registration who we were she oohhhed and ahhed and informed me that they had been talking about us the day before when they were preparing the registration packets. She couldn't believe that such a big family was running the race together. I couldn't believe that Steve and I with half of our children were considered a big family. She then told me that they had informed the media about us and they would likely like to talk to us. We got a good laugh over that and then loaded the bus to go to our starting point.

Our friends, Emily and Richard ran the 10k. Eliza and Steve ran the 5k. My friend Katie and I took Grace and her friends and hoped to briskly walk the 5k. 3 minutes into the race, one skinned her knee and had blood oozing all over. One wanted to stop and watch the fish jumping in the lake. On our way through the campground part of the trail, we stopped to ask for a bandaid. While there - we saw the bathrooms and decided to stop. Grace tells everyone that I dragged her over the finish line - she was so tired. So our brisk walk turned into some of the longest 5k finishes known to man. I think we beat the 60 year old couple who had a baby in a back pack.

So about the media. Steve crossed the finish line and a reporter approached him. She was sorely disappointed that we weren't all running together. Her photo-op moment was not going to happen. But I love this picture. It was a great day.

T is for Tanner

Tanner has a lot to tell me these days because we are not together for 3 hours every day while he is at school. He is always anxious to tell me about school and the friends he made that day. His one problem is that he can never remember their names - or perhaps he never asked them in the first place. Tonight at dinner - the girls were asking him if he found out the name of a particular girl he had been talking about. He said he asked her her name but it was "complicated". The girls started to throw out names with 3 or more syllables. They all sounded like Rumpelstiltskin trying to guess the friends name. After a few minutes of guessing and laughing - Tanner pipes up with, "I think her name was Anne or something like that."

Tanner came in the house from jumping on the trampoline today and declared: "I am not going to military school!" I tried to find out where this idea came from but he wouldn't say anymore. He got a drink of water and went back outside.

Tonight, we were driving to the church, in the dark to pick up the girls from church. He started singing a song that sounded like a game show theme song and then rapidly fired off words he wanted me to define. He started with "cute" and "darling". He then moved on to damn and piehole. I gave him a definition for dam that included cement, logs and a stream or river turned into a lake. He then asked if there is another dam. I asked him why and he told me that there is a song he knows and that he thought the words to it were: "my damn partner is a monkey" but someone told him those are not the correct words. The correct words are: "my gym partner is a monkey".

So now - I get to wonder where he was singing about his damn partner loud enough for someone to correct him? My apologies to whoever it was and to the parents of any friends to whom he taught that song. He knows better now and hopefully won't do it again.

Comfort and Joy

On Saturday I was getting ready to go to a seminary teacher training meeting at the institute building. I was kind of dragging my feet. I told Steve that I anticipated the first hour - to be a discussion of questions the first year teachers have about the way to run a seminary class.

I WAS a new seminary teacher 2 years ago and could hardly wait to get to the meeting to get answers to my many questions. But now I am a third year seminary teacher. We have our routine. I love the kids. And study like crazy and hope the Holy Ghost will teach them every morning.

What I needed was - more than details on how to run a seminary class (there are lots of details!) -- I had been praying for comfort and joy. I have been letting myself be dragged down by some things going on around me that are out of my realm of responsibility and control. I was feeling heavy-hearted.

For 1 hour and 50 minutes of the meeting, we discussed procedures, tasks, and ideas about how to best run a class. I tried to contribute where I could -- but in a room full of people - I have a difficult time raising my hand and speaking. But I did. And I brought home a few ideas I am going to try. But as I looked at the clock and saw that the time was about over - I was disappointed that we hadn't spent very munch time in the scriptures - discussing doctrine or our Savior.

But then a question came that caused Brother Burton to stop and open his scriptures and remind us that the gospel is to be taught and lived with joy. He read from Mosiah 2:40 and 41:

40 O, all ye ^aold men, and also ye young men, and you little children who can understand my words, for I have spoken plainly unto you that ye might understand, I pray that ye should awake to a^bremembrance of the awful situation of those that have fallen into transgression.

41 And moreover, I would desire that ye should consider on the blessed and ^ahappy state of those that keep the commandments of God. For behold, they are ^bblessed in all things, both temporal and spiritual; and if they hold out ^cfaithful to the end they are received into ^dheaven, that thereby they may dwell with God in a state of never-ending happiness. O remember, remember that these things are true; for the Lord God hath spoken it.

The spirit whispered to me that I needed to loosen my grip on my worries for my friends problems and to dedicate my thoughts more to the blessings of living the gospel. Blessings are all around me. The joy of the gospel is not reserved for after judgement. We can experience joy now. I am so thankful for the multiple examples of people around me who live the gospel and recognize their blessings.

I am grateful that I received the comfort and understanding that I needed. My heart is lighter. I know my Father in Heaven knows me and knew about my worries and my desire to feel joy. I love that the scriptures that are for everyone - can feel so personal.

Ahhhh. . . Quiet.

I am alone in my house for the first time since the end of May. I have so many things that I need to do. But I'm just going to sit here for a minute and enjoy the silence.

Praying for our Enemies

Enemy is is too strong of a word to really use here - but it does remind me of the scripture that I will liken to Tanner.

There is a bully in Tanner's preschool class. Every day, we hear tales of this boy and the ways he has hurt members of the class. I am not sure that he means to hurt the other children. But he spends a lot of time in time out and I know the teachers are really trying to direct his energy toward good things.

Sunday night, after reading stories, Tanner said a prayer. In his prayer he prayed for this boy, that he would learn to be nice and that he would be gentle with everyone. When his prayer was over and we opened our eyes, he looked at me with his big brown eyes and asked if it was Ok to pray that this boy would be nice.

The following Monday, Tanner came home from school and told me that the bully was still a bully and his prayer didn't work. I told him to give it time - and was happy that night when Tanner included him in his prayers again. I hope he will always have that kind of faith.

Note:

I wrote the above several weeks ago. Since then, Tanner had his preschool graduation. During the graduation the bully kicked Tanner in the toe and would have kicked him in the shin if my friend, Melissa hadn't jumped out of her seat and removed the boy from Tanner. It made Tanner's praying for him all the more heart-warming. Maybe enemy was not too strong a word. It is funny that we ask children to do so many things that we don't do as adults - like share toys. And call people who kick you your friends.

Mothers of My Grandchildren

Happy Mother's Day to my Mother, Mother in Law, Grandmother and all the women who have influenced me and my children. I see so much incredible goodness and hope in my children. I am eternally grateful to you, who have taught them the gospel, shared with them your testimonies of our Savior and directed their thoughts to the temple and eternal families.

I want my children to have joy in their lives and the greatest joy I know - is being a mother. I am not the kind of mom that weeps at the bus stop when my kindergartner climbs the steps of the bus for the first time. I don't treasure bouquets of dandelions or even pretend to. I rarely bake cookies and I have major life plans for when they all leave the LTC (Life Training Center). I can't bring myself to call our home a nest. It would imply that I feed them often while they just sit there and do nothing.

I used to feel inferior to the Hallmark Moms. And sometimes in conversations, I will not speak out about my different reactions or feeling about motherhood. It is easier to nod my head and smile.

I don't want to freeze time and keep my children where they are. This life is a place of learning. I want them to experience the joy of continuous learning. Because that is what I do as a mother to my four. I have been forced to stretch because of them. I have been challenged to remember who I am and what is important in this life numerous times because of them. I have been pushed out of my comfort zone because of them. I am ME because of them. I have had to rely on my Savior because of them. And without Him I am nothing.

I have learned that He doesn't care if I cry when they get on the bus - but he will comfort me when I water my pillow at night as I pray for their testimonies to be strengthened. He doesn't care if I bake cookies every day - but he wants me to make sure they are spiritually fed, and teach them where to feast and find living water. He doesn't care if I pretend to like dandelions - but he begs me to recognize the divine nature of my children and love them as he does.

Every time I talk to my Mom on the phone, she reminds me how lucky I am to spend every day with my children. I love her for that. Because she knows. She knows me well enough to know that I need reminding and she knows them well enough to speak truth.

Press play for video. It's really there

New Calling

We heard this news last week. We know it will mean fewer pop-in visits from them - but it couldn't be for a better reason. They have both done so much to teach me about the temple - I know they feel at home there. I know our family will be blessed because of their service.

Kent Rigby Van Kampen, 73, Hoover Ward, Bessemer Alabama Stake, called as president of the Birmingham Alabama Temple, succeeding President Malcolm D. Otis. President Van Kampen's wife, Geniel Rhees Van Kampen, will serve as temple matron. A sealer in the Birmingham Alabama Temple, he has previously served as a counselor in the Birmingham Alabama Temple presidency, stake president's counselor, mission president's counselor, bishop and high councilor. The chief operating officer and president of Vaxin Inc., he was born in Brigham City, Utah, to Rudolph Lincoln and Afton Frances Rigby Van Kampen.

Sister Van Kampen, a stake Relief Society president and temple ordinance worker, has served as an assistant to the matron of the Birmingham Alabama Temple and as ward Relief Society, Young Women and Primary president. She was born in Ogden, Utah, to Reuben George and Thelma Ward Rhees.

Night of Miralces Two

Eagles music was playing. Balloons were waving in the breeze. Children laughing. Adults hugging. It was like a huge family reunion. I didn't know everyone who was there - but everyone knew Jay and Susan. And that is why they came. I always knew Jay and Susan touched the lives of a lot of people. But this week I realized how many lives they have changed.

This was a night of joy.

We had fasted and prayed for good weather. It got a little dark and windy at start time. But a few more private prayers were said and the weather improved. Around 10 pm as we finished cleaning up . . . the rain began to fall.

A Night of Miracles

The day after Jay had his surgery (and 2 days after he and Susan sold their home) their daughter Alli, called me. She wondered if we could do some kind of dinner in conjunction with a furniture auction to raise money for Jay's medical expenses and get rid of things they would not need when they move to Salt Lake. This was on a Saturday. I called two people. Cam and Sheila Green had all the energy and ideas to get this thing rolling. By Monday, there were 8 or so committe heads and many more working on this project. I can't even begin to name everyone who helped. So many people offered services to auction, baked goods to sell, a sound system, food. Countless. Wonderful. Marvelous. People.

After a week of planning, most things were in place. We fasted and prayed for good weather. And then we watched the miracles unfold.

And the people came.

And we raised enough money to cover the deductible.

It was these two beautiful ladies who came up with the idea.

Alli (with son, Maddux) and Lacey

Most people who came, got a hug from this incredible lady, and lucky ones got to talk to Jay. When we were talking about the plans for the night, we joked about making a booth for Susan to sit in. We could call it the hugging booth. Grace said that she would stand in line and pay for that one. We all would have.

Jay and Susan

A couple of weeks ago, Steve and I were able to attend the temple with a lot of our ward members. Some dear friends, who were baptized last year were in the temple for the first time. The temple is always a glorious place to be - but being there with loved ones is a celestial experience. Several of my friends who are my family here in Ohio were sitting on a sofa watching the group hug and greet one another. We questioned if this is what "heaven" would be like. We were filled with joy. Pure joy.

Several days later, while sitting in the New Orleans airport I received a phone call from Jenny Wood. She asked if I had heard about Jay. I had not. She let me know that our dear friend/neighbor had been diagnosed with colon cancer and that he was going to have surgery soon. Over the past week, we have been on a roller coaster. Good news. Bad news. Good Days. Tear-filled, feeling helpless days.

I know the calm and joy that we felt in the temple, strengthened us for the week we had ahead. The remembering of our covenants gives us hope in a time such as this.

Jay had surgery. You can read his story if you click on the button at the top of my blog. What you can't read there is why we love Jay and Susan. I could write 40 entries on why we love Jay and Susan. Maybe I will later - but this is a start:

On our first visit to Ohio to look for a house, Jay met us in the hallway of the church. He told us that he had found the perfect street and builder and encouraged us to move there. We laughed. But I remembered him and his advice. We ended up moving to Pickerington , about about a mile from Jay and Susan. Our first 4 years of living here, Jay and Susan were ward members that we interacted with through callings - teaching each other's children, and more or less admiring them from afar. Susan was Grace's nursery leader and we knew she was special. But our interaction was just on Sundays.

Fast forward a few years. 3 bedroom house. Tanner, child number 4 on the way. We were looking for a larger home. Jay's advice and encouragement from our first meeting came to mind as I drove past a home for sale on their street. We moved in. As the housing prices have tumbled and other good friends have moved away - I have questioned our decision to move here. But then a vision of Jay and Susan come to mind - and I know we made the right decision.

Susan and Jay have embraced my children as their own. My children have traditions at their home. Grace and Tanner arrive at their home. Susan pulls out a big bin of candy. Tanner pulls out a yellow Laughy Taffy. Susan reads the joke on the wrapper. Jay walks in. He grabs some candy, jokes with the children. Jay entertains Tanner by playing fuseball or playing air guitar to Eagles music. Grace tells Susan all about her day at school. Susan listens. Grace tells her one thing she learned that day. Tanner and Grace come home happy.

Come home happy. That is what we do when we are with Jay and Susan. It is kind of like being at the temple. We come home happy. We know we are loved.

Easter Lesson

Tanner has had several Easter lessons this week. At school, at home and at church. He's not really grasping that Jesus was killed. When his teacher in primary talked to his class about Jesus being nailed to the cross - Tanner questioned why they didn't use tape.

Little Women

Tonight, I took my girls to see the musical "Little Women" at Pickerington Central. We know some of the students in the play. So you might say I am biased - but it was awesome!

I was greatly surprised by the humor in the script and the acting and singing were great. So if you live close by - I highly recommend it! It is playing Friday and Saturday at 8pm.

Goodbye February

It has been a long month. I know it is really the shortest month of the year. But February 1st was 4 snowstorms, 5 snow days and 28 days of little sun ago. Each of these pictures deserves a post but the month is over and I need to let February go. It is time to move on.

We ended the month with a bang. We had about 20 seminary students over for dinner and a movie. We watched "The Testament." I loved our discussion after the movie. I had prepared to focus on the students and their joy of living close to our Savior. Very quickly the discussion turned to their desire to share the gospel with their friends. They always exceed my expectations. These kids are amazing.

The most life changing experience of the month took place when Tanner realized that he loves being out in the snow and loves sledding. It was wonderful to watch him and Grace go sledding on the hill in our backyard. Five is a magical age. He is able to do so many things on his own now. I love it!
I believe this has been the snowiest February on record for central Ohio. We had a total of 5 snow days, 2 two-hour delays and one early dismissal. Steve came home early (5pm) one night and spent the evening on the hill with the kids. Eliza and I stayed inside sipping hot chocolate. We were all happy.
Grace and Steve attended the Father-Daughter dance at Grace's school. There is always a theme and my dear husband is always so good to dress the theme. He has dressed up like a guy form the 50s, 60s, and has been a cowboy and a movie star. This year's theme was a night in the Orient. Steve and Grace enjoyed dinner with several friends before the dance. I hope my girls will always be this wise in who they choose to date.

Forgotten Fun

We moved into this house 5 years ago. Tanner was a baby and had major throw up issues. Anytime he cried - he projectile vomited. We dutifully cleaned everything the best we could - but after a year of lots of throw-up and spilled milk - our carpet looked and felt horrible.

I co-hosted a baby shower at my house and was so happy when my friend, Catherine blew up 50 balloons and just threw them on my floor. It covered up the mess and I was tempted to keep the balloons there permanently.

We made a plan to replace the family room carpet when Tanner turned 5. We assumed by then it would be safe. So during the fall, we shopped for carpet and found the softest carpet we could in our price range. It took a while to get the carpet in - so we anticipated the change for about a month.

The weekend before the carpet was put in - Hannah and her friends colored a little bit on the old carpet and then colored a lot on it with permanent marker. They were giddy. It was like watching 3 year olds finger paint for the first time. The next morning, Tanner was shocked to see the carpet colored - but anxious to add his own picture. Everyone who entered our home that weekend - signed the carpet. I loved looking at it for the 48 hours we had until it was changed. I don't think we will start a trend (I love my new soft carpet) but the markered carpet was so much more fun to look at than the boring, awful, stained carpet we lived with for 4 years. Maybe I should have let them color it earlier.

By the way, Tanner christened the carpet about a month ago when he had the flu. Thanks to stainmaster - it cleaned up beautifully.

Snow Day!

Second Snow day of the school year. I'm already at "make your own hot chocolate and I'm taking a nap" mode. Perhaps, I would be in a better mood if the school district would call the snow day before my poor seminary students made their way to my house. Most of my own children were wide-awake and ready to go for the day. Perhaps I am grumpy because my sweetheart may get stuck in NYC tonight. Preemptive worry, disappointment and grumpiness are my downfall. I think the Book of Mormon calls them "vain imaginations."

So I am taking a deep breath and changing my mood and locking myself in my room to read a new book, Jenny sent me. The book is "Left to Tell" about the Rwandan holocaust. Not a happy-go-lucky kind of book - but an incredible story of hope during worse things than a snow day. I think my children will be glad I did. Thanks Jenny for the escape that I need today!

Never Too Late

Is this too late to remember Christmas? Holy Moly, I think there are still some Christmas trees lit - and there are still Christmas lights up around town - so I will not feel bad about this.

We went to Alabama for Christmas. We usually go there right after Christmas - but this year all of my siblings were going to be there.

Can you see the beautiful weather? Even with the colder than usual temperatures - it was still a break from the Ohio gray winter we love here.
This is the whole family at "Dreamland". Great BBQ in Birmingham. They claim to be the best - but we have never really tested that claim for ourselves. . . maybe a project for our next trip!
Christmas morning. We were all excited to talk to Brock who is in the Philippines on a mission for our church. Tanner was as patient as he could be while the Stringhams talked to Brock, and he waited to open presents. Breakfast was a good distraction. Grandma and Grandpa have always had a big breakfast on Christmas morning that had to be cooked, eaten and cleaned up before we could open presents. They tried to teach me patience and the excitement of anticipation. I mostly remember having a stomach ache. Steve and I have modified the tradition a bit. But it was fun to experience it as a parent.
On Christmas Eve, we had a surprise visit from Santa! He gave all the grandkids Alabama t-shirts and listened to their wish lists. Everyone was so happy to see him and talk to him.

The best part of the visit was hearing the cousins all laughing together and enjoying each other. Thanks Mom and Dad for a great Christmas!

Spiritual Communication

Our Relief Society Lesson today, was about seeking spiritual guidance. It was based on a talk by Elder Scott, given at the October General Conference. Several people shared wonderful stories that had dramatic consequences because they listened to the spirit. I have very few of those stories in my life.

While sitting there, I had the feeling I get when I need to share my testimony, and I didn't raise my hand. I was completely sure of what the spirit was prompting me to share, but I let the opportunity pass, thinking it was nothing of significance to anyone in the room. But now I have been thinking about it for a couple of hours. And I realize I do this a lot. Because I get nervous speaking in groups, even friendly groups like my sisters in relief society - I don't like to. Even when the spirit is prompting me.

So I realized that I needed this lesson for many reasons. And I will be pondering this talk and the things I heard a lot this week. However, when I think of what I know I was supposed to share - my heart begins to race and I am hoping that if I write it down here - I can be relieved of this feeling of failure to follow the spirit.

Several weeks ago, I was kneeling in prayer, asking for help with one of my children. I didn't know how to help her. As I prayed, I used the same words I have said a thousand times, "please guide her. . . please guide me. . . please help me. . ." I distinctly knew that I was asking for the wrong thing. The spirit gently whispered, "I am always guiding her, I am always helping you. You need to pray that you will understand and follow the direction I give."

I was given a new understanding. And I have been striving to listen more and understand more.

Obviously, from my experience today in Relief Society, I am still working on this.

I love this part of my church. I love that we discuss gospel principles with each other. I love that I leave there wanting to try a little harder and do a little better.

PS

This is my favorite quote that we discussed today. It helped me better understand how my fears get in the way of following the promptings I receive:

The inspiring influence of the Holy Spirit can be overcome or masked by strong emotions, such as anger, hate, passion, fear, or pride. When such influences are present, it is like trying to savor the delicate flavor of a grape while eating a jalapeño pepper. Both flavors are present, but one completely overpowers the other. In like manner, strong emotions overcome the delicate promptings of the Holy Spirit.

- Elder Richard G. Scott