While sitting there, I had the feeling I get when I need to share my testimony, and I didn't raise my hand. I was completely sure of what the spirit was prompting me to share, but I let the opportunity pass, thinking it was nothing of significance to anyone in the room. But now I have been thinking about it for a couple of hours. And I realize I do this a lot. Because I get nervous speaking in groups, even friendly groups like my sisters in relief society - I don't like to. Even when the spirit is prompting me.
So I realized that I needed this lesson for many reasons. And I will be pondering this talk and the things I heard a lot this week. However, when I think of what I know I was supposed to share - my heart begins to race and I am hoping that if I write it down here - I can be relieved of this feeling of failure to follow the spirit.
Several weeks ago, I was kneeling in prayer, asking for help with one of my children. I didn't know how to help her. As I prayed, I used the same words I have said a thousand times, "please guide her. . . please guide me. . . please help me. . ." I distinctly knew that I was asking for the wrong thing. The spirit gently whispered, "I am always guiding her, I am always helping you. You need to pray that you will understand and follow the direction I give."
I was given a new understanding. And I have been striving to listen more and understand more.
Obviously, from my experience today in Relief Society, I am still working on this.
I love this part of my church. I love that we discuss gospel principles with each other. I love that I leave there wanting to try a little harder and do a little better.
PS
This is my favorite quote that we discussed today. It helped me better understand how my fears get in the way of following the promptings I receive:
The inspiring influence of the Holy Spirit can be overcome or masked by strong emotions, such as anger, hate, passion, fear, or pride. When such influences are present, it is like trying to savor the delicate flavor of a grape while eating a jalapeño pepper. Both flavors are present, but one completely overpowers the other. In like manner, strong emotions overcome the delicate promptings of the Holy Spirit.
- Elder Richard G. Scott
7 comments:
You are an amazing example to me! I am going to read that talk, you have inspired me! Love ya!
I was just thinking today about blogs I love to read. Your's is one of them. Then I thought that you hadn't posted anything for a while. I was happy to see a post from you today, and it was something I needed to hear. Thanks for sharing.
Learning to recognize the spirit is a lifelong pursuit for all of us. I still feel like I'm at the beginning of the road, and yet I've already lived quite a bit of my life. This is often very frustrating for me. Thank you for sharing your experience and the quote from Elder Holland.
Loved this post. It's just what I needed today. Thanks.
Its amazing to me that someone like you (to me you seem to be a very confident and unwavering person) can be afraid to stand up and speak publicly. You always make me feel like maybe I'm not so alone. I loved the answer to your prayer. I often feel like I am asking the wrong questions but I don't know what the right ones are. You have helped me to think about things differently, thank you!
Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
I remember one time I was going to make a two hour drive to visit a friend. I had a very strong impression not to go - so I cancelled.
I never heard of any accident - or near death experience - but I definitely felt the prompting of the spirit. It doesn't make for a great story - but does it need to be when we are just trying to be obedient?
Thanks! This is such a great lesson, you are the best mom! Scott and I have tried to mimic you and Steve for all these years, admiring the way you raise your children. You both work together so well, and I love, love, love my neices and nephew, they are such sweet beings...I really enjoyed visiting with Hannah and playing pool, she has her head on straight, so much more than I did at her age, love her!
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